Deryk Michael Peters

The last time I saw, your beautiful face, you were standing in the kitchen.  Leaning against the counter.  You were wearing blue jeans, a green and white sweater and your white sneakers.  I can't remember what we talked about. No matter how hard, I rack my brains.  Probably everyday stuff.  One thing I know for sure, we both said "I love you" when you left.  I know this because, we always said it before, we parted ways.  You were never too cool, to give your ol mom a hug or a kiss.  Even when it was in front of all your friends.  I was always so proud of that!  I can remember, when you were home on leave the last time, we went for a walk together and you held my hand.  How many 22 year old's would do that?  It brings me comfort to know, the last words we ever spoke to each other were, I love you.  I love you Deryk. I always have, I always will.  Some day we will be together again.  I have to believe that.  Until then, I will hold you in my heart.

1-27-11 so...12 years ago tonight was the last time i would talk to you. you couldn't come over cuz you had to work. i miss you & cherie. 12 years ago last night, we hung out in my basement with jess & cherie. i think we watched a movie. i remember making egg & cheese sandwiches for the four of us. i always looked foward to you two coming over, we all fit so well together. we should have all grown old together. it wasvery cold that night, i gave you my green flannel shirt to wear. it's the last image i have of you alive - standing in my kitchen before you guys were going home. i remember us staring at each other for like 5 seconds. i had such an over-whelming feeling to reach out & hug you or shake your hand...i was admiring you. damn...i never had such a bond with any friend as i had with you. i am glad i still feel you with me to this day...i really feel like you watch over me.

I was Deryks aunt. I didn't ever get a chance to see him grow up, but I did see him on occasion when he was little. My mother (his paternal grandmother) and I were always kept "updated" on Deryk by Auntie Sheila! She was a Godsend for us. We got school pictures and updates and it brought such happiness to my mom! When Deryk went into the Navy, Kathy had a going away party for him and my sisters and I along with my mom, were invited. At first, being in the room with him, all I could do was stare. He had a presence about him, that to this day I can't explain. I'm sure most of you know exactly what I mean. We got to chat and laugh a bit with Deryk and his family that day and had a great time. It wasn't until years later, when he was home on leave (I believe) that once again, Auntie Sheila made it possible for my mom and I to go to her house and spend some time with him. And, like before, I felt like I was in the presence of greatness....hard to be described any other way. He had not really known my mother as his grandmother growing up but you would never have known it that day. He was so sweet to my mom, he held her hand and told her that she was beautiful! I remember that she told him that she had dressed up just for him! She was so excited. We brought family pictures and he had lots of questions, which we were happy to answer. We took lots of pictures that day and they are treasured. I will never forget the way he made us feel that day, he made us feel loved. It was one of the best days I have ever had. My mother too. Sadly, that was the last time we would ever see him. My mother passed away on June 28th, 1998. Deryk was her 7th grandchild and he passed away 7 months to the day of my moms death. I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was the one and only time that I was actually glad that my mother had passed...she never would have survived the death of a grandchild. I am comforted in the thought that they are all together in Heaven. Deryk, his grandmothers, grandfather, and other friends and relatives that have passed. I will love him forever, but I know that he is always with us. I know that he is with his mother everyday. Just like I know my mom is with me. You were Deryks hero Kathy, and there is no place he would rather be then by your side, which is where I know he is!

There's a hole in the world.  In the place where he was, there's now just nothing.  A center, like no other, of memory and hope and knowledge and affection which once inhabited the earth is gone.  Only a gap remains.  A perspective on this world unique in this world which once moved about within this world has been rubbed out.  Only a void is left.  There's nobody now who saw just what he saw, knows what he knew, remembers what he remembered, loves what he loved.  A person, an irreplaceable person is gone.  Never again will anyone apprehend the world quite the way he did.  Never again will anyone inhabit the world the way he did.  Questions I have can never now get answers.  The world is emptier.  My son is gone.  Only a hole remains, a void, a gap, never to be filled.

staying up late on work nights, just to hang out. watching sports together, playing playstation all night, talking about anything & everything. sharing music. the only person i would ever want visiting every night. one of the only people i ever admired. an eternal bond. my life is happy only because of my ability to bury my sorrow so deep that even i can't feel it. the day he died was the "end of my innocence". i know i will never be able to have the relationship we had together again. the best friend i ever knew has been stolen from me. deryk wasn't perfect...but he was the most beautiful person i've ever known.