Deryk Michael Peters

1-27-11 so...12 years ago tonight was the last time i would talk to you. you couldn't come over cuz you had to work. i miss you & cherie. 12 years ago last night, we hung out in my basement with jess & cherie. i think we watched a movie. i remember making egg & cheese sandwiches for the four of us. i always looked foward to you two coming over, we all fit so well together. we should have all grown old together. it wasvery cold that night, i gave you my green flannel shirt to wear. it's the last image i have of you alive - standing in my kitchen before you guys were going home. i remember us staring at each other for like 5 seconds. i had such an over-whelming feeling to reach out & hug you or shake your hand...i was admiring you. damn...i never had such a bond with any friend as i had with you. i am glad i still feel you with me to this day...i really feel like you watch over me.

I was Deryks aunt. I didn't ever get a chance to see him grow up, but I did see him on occasion when he was little. My mother (his paternal grandmother) and I were always kept "updated" on Deryk by Auntie Sheila! She was a Godsend for us. We got school pictures and updates and it brought such happiness to my mom! When Deryk went into the Navy, Kathy had a going away party for him and my sisters and I along with my mom, were invited. At first, being in the room with him, all I could do was stare. He had a presence about him, that to this day I can't explain. I'm sure most of you know exactly what I mean. We got to chat and laugh a bit with Deryk and his family that day and had a great time. It wasn't until years later, when he was home on leave (I believe) that once again, Auntie Sheila made it possible for my mom and I to go to her house and spend some time with him. And, like before, I felt like I was in the presence of greatness....hard to be described any other way. He had not really known my mother as his grandmother growing up but you would never have known it that day. He was so sweet to my mom, he held her hand and told her that she was beautiful! I remember that she told him that she had dressed up just for him! She was so excited. We brought family pictures and he had lots of questions, which we were happy to answer. We took lots of pictures that day and they are treasured. I will never forget the way he made us feel that day, he made us feel loved. It was one of the best days I have ever had. My mother too. Sadly, that was the last time we would ever see him. My mother passed away on June 28th, 1998. Deryk was her 7th grandchild and he passed away 7 months to the day of my moms death. I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was the one and only time that I was actually glad that my mother had passed...she never would have survived the death of a grandchild. I am comforted in the thought that they are all together in Heaven. Deryk, his grandmothers, grandfather, and other friends and relatives that have passed. I will love him forever, but I know that he is always with us. I know that he is with his mother everyday. Just like I know my mom is with me. You were Deryks hero Kathy, and there is no place he would rather be then by your side, which is where I know he is!

There's a hole in the world.  In the place where he was, there's now just nothing.  A center, like no other, of memory and hope and knowledge and affection which once inhabited the earth is gone.  Only a gap remains.  A perspective on this world unique in this world which once moved about within this world has been rubbed out.  Only a void is left.  There's nobody now who saw just what he saw, knows what he knew, remembers what he remembered, loves what he loved.  A person, an irreplaceable person is gone.  Never again will anyone apprehend the world quite the way he did.  Never again will anyone inhabit the world the way he did.  Questions I have can never now get answers.  The world is emptier.  My son is gone.  Only a hole remains, a void, a gap, never to be filled.

staying up late on work nights, just to hang out. watching sports together, playing playstation all night, talking about anything & everything. sharing music. the only person i would ever want visiting every night. one of the only people i ever admired. an eternal bond. my life is happy only because of my ability to bury my sorrow so deep that even i can't feel it. the day he died was the "end of my innocence". i know i will never be able to have the relationship we had together again. the best friend i ever knew has been stolen from me. deryk wasn't perfect...but he was the most beautiful person i've ever known.

      I thank God everyday for the Peter's Family. I met them through my husband who worked with Bill for many years.  When we moved in across the street, they became my second family.  Deryk was getting ready to graduate from High School and Sarah and my son Gordon III were in the same grade. Megan was a year ahead of our Daughter Jenna.

      I remember Deryk skateboarding down the sidewalk. He alway told his mother he loved her, everytime he went out with friends. 

     I remember the New Year's just before he went in to the service, Kathy was telling him not to drink and drive. I remember him saying, I'll be with friends and not to worry. I love you mom as he was going out the door.

     

     I also remember that horrible morning. I was just getting ready to go to work. I had heard the siren at the fire station going off and thought Oh God, not another fire. I remember letting the dog out, looking up and seeing Kathy in her night gown, running from the house. The phone started to ring and since Gordon had worked lated the night before, I hurried to answer the phone. Bill was on the line asking me to go be with Kathy. He stated Deryk's house was on fire and that they couldn't find Deryk or Cherie.  I remember telling him Kathy just ran up the road in her nightgown. 

    I went over to the house, the girls were upset, Mary brought Kathy back and she was screaming that Deryk and Cherie couldn't be found. I remember she grabbed the girls and fell to the dinning room floor.  I remember Bill coming in to tell Kathy that Deryk was gone and they still had not found Cherie. 

    I then comforted the girls the best I knew how, looking up at Bill, not understanding how this could be real. 

    I remember telling Bill I need to get Gordon, and to make sure the kids were getting ready for school. You do strange things when you are in shock. I remember going into the house and calling my boss telling him that I wouldn't be at work that day, as my best friend had just lost her son in a house fire. That is how my family learned of Deryk's passing. I remember my daughter Jenna screaming, crying and looking at me. I remember my husband looking at me and my telling him, I had to go back across the street.

    No one went to work or to school that day. I remember taking Sarah and Megan for a walk, along with my kids. We talked of what had happened and their not understanding why it happened.

    I remember friends and family showing up. I remember Kathy wailing but mostly thinking why? 

    I remember the pastor from the local church coming in and trying to give the family comfort, but thinking he was out of his mind to even try. He said something to Kathy I'm sure she doesn't remember. He said God needed two angels to help him watch over those here on earth, and that we might not ever know why he chose for them to go that way.

     I can't believe it has been 10 year's I remember Deryk everyday, we have since moved from Canton, to Monmouth and I live just as far from the fire station as I didn in Canton. Every evening at 8:00 p.m. the siren goes off, I have a hard time comprehending that it is saying another fire, all I think of is Deryk.  It help me to remember not the horror of that day, but of a young man who alway told his mother he loved her everytime he went out the door.