Deryk Michael Peters

      I thank God everyday for the Peter's Family. I met them through my husband who worked with Bill for many years.  When we moved in across the street, they became my second family.  Deryk was getting ready to graduate from High School and Sarah and my son Gordon III were in the same grade. Megan was a year ahead of our Daughter Jenna.

      I remember Deryk skateboarding down the sidewalk. He alway told his mother he loved her, everytime he went out with friends. 

     I remember the New Year's just before he went in to the service, Kathy was telling him not to drink and drive. I remember him saying, I'll be with friends and not to worry. I love you mom as he was going out the door.

     

     I also remember that horrible morning. I was just getting ready to go to work. I had heard the siren at the fire station going off and thought Oh God, not another fire. I remember letting the dog out, looking up and seeing Kathy in her night gown, running from the house. The phone started to ring and since Gordon had worked lated the night before, I hurried to answer the phone. Bill was on the line asking me to go be with Kathy. He stated Deryk's house was on fire and that they couldn't find Deryk or Cherie.  I remember telling him Kathy just ran up the road in her nightgown. 

    I went over to the house, the girls were upset, Mary brought Kathy back and she was screaming that Deryk and Cherie couldn't be found. I remember she grabbed the girls and fell to the dinning room floor.  I remember Bill coming in to tell Kathy that Deryk was gone and they still had not found Cherie. 

    I then comforted the girls the best I knew how, looking up at Bill, not understanding how this could be real. 

    I remember telling Bill I need to get Gordon, and to make sure the kids were getting ready for school. You do strange things when you are in shock. I remember going into the house and calling my boss telling him that I wouldn't be at work that day, as my best friend had just lost her son in a house fire. That is how my family learned of Deryk's passing. I remember my daughter Jenna screaming, crying and looking at me. I remember my husband looking at me and my telling him, I had to go back across the street.

    No one went to work or to school that day. I remember taking Sarah and Megan for a walk, along with my kids. We talked of what had happened and their not understanding why it happened.

    I remember friends and family showing up. I remember Kathy wailing but mostly thinking why? 

    I remember the pastor from the local church coming in and trying to give the family comfort, but thinking he was out of his mind to even try. He said something to Kathy I'm sure she doesn't remember. He said God needed two angels to help him watch over those here on earth, and that we might not ever know why he chose for them to go that way.

     I can't believe it has been 10 year's I remember Deryk everyday, we have since moved from Canton, to Monmouth and I live just as far from the fire station as I didn in Canton. Every evening at 8:00 p.m. the siren goes off, I have a hard time comprehending that it is saying another fire, all I think of is Deryk.  It help me to remember not the horror of that day, but of a young man who alway told his mother he loved her everytime he went out the door.

The memories of this day nine years ago, today are still so fresh in my mind.  I was making pancakes for Sarah and Megan.  Sarah was in the shower, Megan just getting up.  The town's fire whistle blew and I thought it unusual since the inception of 911, they only used it for extreme cases.  I went to the dining room to turn on Dad's scanner and was in time to hear "the house next to the school"!  Well, Deryk and Cherie's house was on one side of the school so, I headed out the back door to our deck.  I could see your house from there.  As I exited the side door, Mary Dube pulled in the yard and got out of her car, wearing only a night gown and she was crying, "It's Deryk's house, it's Deryk's house!"  I ran back into the house, yelled to the girls to call Dad at work and ran out the door.  Mary stopped me and said, she would give me a ride.  Then she proceeded to pull out of the driveway and drive in the wrong direction!  I couldn't believe it!  She said she would only take me to the fire if, I agreed to NOT get out of the car!  We pulled up to the house and the fire was bad.  Bill had been a fire figher for 12 years and I knew a bad fire when I saw one.  The windows had all blown out and fire was raging out of them!  There was a ladder directly under Deryk and Cherie's bedroom window and I truly, truly believed they had gotten them out.  They were probably in someone's vehicle warming up.  Wayne Dube, (Mary's husband and the fire chief) was standing at the bottom of the ladder and I ran up to him and yelled, "Wayne, where are they!!!!!"  he replied "Kathy, which bedroom do they sleep in???"  I thought he had lost his mind, you see Mary and Wayne were overseeing the house Deryk and Cherie were renting from Mary's brother, who had moved to Florida.  He knew which bedroom they slept in.  I said "Wayne, it's that one!"  His reply to me was "We have already been in that bedroom, they are not in there."  The look on his face was one of hopelessness and I do not remember anything after that until, I was running into my kitchen skidding on my snow covered feet, yelling to the girls to get dressed because, when they find them, we are going to the hospital!  Oh how the mind works to protect itself.  I still do not remember anything that happened between those to circumstances.  I was told, I tried to climb into to the living room window, with flames raging over my head.  It took three firefighters to pull me away from the window and yet, I still remember nothing.  At least, I tried to save my son.  It is a small consequence but, still brings me some small comfort.  There is more of the story.  Cold

Every time I walk past the greeting cards at work my eyes tend to linger over the ones that say "Brother". I watch the people come in and purchase cards for their brothers and know I will never again have the opportunity to do that. I suppose it's kind of silly to be upset about never having to buy you a card again, but I find that I miss a lot of the "small" things about not having you around. All of the missed opportunities... the loss of you has taken many things away from all of us. My son will never have an uncle by blood. I will never hold your children close to me. Kyen will never experience the cousins I'm sure you would have given him... the wisdom of your words... the love of your arms. I miss the way you could laugh and make me feel better... I miss the way you could hug me and make me feel small... I miss your sarcasm, your wit and your charm. I miss you.

Deryk and I had just moved into our new apartment on High St. in Lewiston.  He was around 18 months old.  We had just finished bringing the last of our meager belongings into the apartment and a fly was flying around the kitchen.  Deryk was quite fascinated with bugs at this point in his life.  He was watching the fly with quiet fascination when, it landed on his nose!  Oh to have had a camera in my hands at that moment!  His eyes crossed and his mouth formed into a perfect little oh!  I will always remember that look, even without a formal picture of it.  It remains forever in my memory!

I've been trying to figure out what memories I wanted to share. I miss you so much. There is so much I want to share with you, Deryk.  But I also know you are around me all the time. I remember the first time I met the Cosgrove clan. You all welcomed me and my mom with open arms and hearts. I didn't really know what a family could be. There was so much happiness and love. Auntie Kathy was the first person I connected with. She babysat me while my parents were at work. I loved being around her and baby Deryk. He felt like a little brother to me. We weren't too close after that. I became a teenager and he was much younger at that time. I moved back from Florida in 93 and Deryk came to see me at work. I didn't recognize him at first. He had braids all through his hair (kinda like Coolio). We hung out and reconnected. We moved into a huge apartment in Portland and made friends that are still in my life. He became my bestfriend and had so much fun together. There was many a time we spent disapproving of each others boyfriends/girlfriends. We had stupid fights but always made up and laughed about it after. You see, we loved each other so much and wanted the best for each other. It wasn't until I met Cherie that I was truly happy for Deryk. The last time I saw him, he and Cherie came looking for me but  I was at work. I ran around downtown Portland looking for him at the places I hung out at because I knew he would be looking for me there. I remember walking upstairs at the Bitterend and seeing him. We ran to each other and hugged for so long. It had been a few months since I had seen him and we had had a silly arguement. We just hugged and said we were sorry. We hung out the rest of the night. Cherie spent the whole time talking to me saying it was important to her that we became friends because Deryk and I were so close and she wanted me to like her. It was so easy to like her. I could tell they really loved each other and were kind to each other, which made me so happy for him. He really deserved that kind of love and I'm glad he found it. We hugged and told each other how much we loved each other and I told him how happy I was that he found love with someone so special. He was so happy when I told him that I really liked Cherie. We always wanted the best for each other. That was the last time I saw him. I'm so glad we saw each other and made up from our stupid fight. The day he died was the saddest day of my life. I still get mad and think it's so unfair that we've all gone through so much pain. What I've come to learn is to live life to the fullest and always let my family and friends know how much I love them. There so much love in our family and I feel so blessed to have come into such a wonderful family. If there's one thing I know it's that I'm a Cosgrove through and through. Thank you all for loving me and being my light at my darkest hours. I wish Deryk was here to see who've I've become. I've learned alot since his passing. I learned I could survive such pain, that we all survived and became even closer.  I love you all and I love you Deryk.  All the love and hugs and kisses to you all.