Deryk Michael Peters

I brought you home from the hospital 32 years ago today.  It was snowing like crazy!  I held you in my arms (no car seats back then) and wondered what the future would hold for the two of us.  I had no idea, what kind of a mother I would be.  I guess, I had a good role model because, I didn't do too bad. 

Right from the start, you were the best baby!  You hardly ever cried.  You slept way more then you were awake.  Come to think of it, that was a trend that would follow you throughout your whole life!  You would look back at me with those serious little blue eyes, it was as if, you were already wise beyond your years.  About six months after your death, I saw a medium, she said that you were a very old soul.  You had gone this route before and probably would again. (Andrew?)  Deryk you taught me so much in those short 23 years.  I will be forever grateful for every single second, I had you in my life.  But, you see, I wanted many, many more.  Greedy huh?

Happy birthday to you... I've done okay this year... I haven't really cried much until today. Every year on your birthday I tell mom "Happy Giving-Birth Day" and I felt bad today when it made her cry... It may sound silly that I say this to her, seeing as how it is your birthday, but... people sometimes forget that today is also the very first day our mom became a mother...You may not be here to celebrate your 32nd birthday, but that doesn't change the fact that mom has been a mother for 32 years. Today is a milestone for her too. Sometimes I think that you were given to mom to whip her into shape and prepare her for Megan and I. Well, I have to say, you did a damn good job. Our mother is amazing. I only hope that I can be a fraction as good of a mother as she is.

I really miss you a lot, Deryk. Sometimes I think I see you in the faces of strangers, sometime I think I hear your laugh in a crowded room... And who knows, maybe it is you... sneaking a peek at the world you left behind through the eyes of random people... Sometimes I have dreams. I dream that you come back for a day, we all know that you're only here for a little while, so we all get together for a family party... all the good stuff is there, Aunt Shiela's taco dip, Auntie Moe's strawberry mold... and we all just hang out. We don't cry, we're just happy to see you, if only for a little while... I've had that dream twice so far... Tell me, Deryk... is it you?

Today is your birthday.  You would be 32.  If fyou had told me 8 years ago, I would survive for 8 years without you, I would have told you, you were wrong.  I could not survive one day.  How did this happen?  How could you be gone 8 years and I am still here?  I love you so much!!  You were my best buddy!  It seems like just yesterday, I was gazing into your blue, blue eyes, wondering how I managed to give birth to this amazing little human being.  Yet, 32 Years have passed.  I want you to know, I enjoyed every moment of your time here on earth.  I can't help but wonder, what you would be like now.  Would you have married Cherie?  She loved you so much!  What would you think of your "little" sisters and their baby's?  Would you be a dad now?  You wnated to fly in helicopters, helping the sick and injured, would you have?  Questions that are fultile to ask, but yet, I wonder still.  I know, I would rather have had you and lost you, then to not have had you at all.  You were a gift to me and our entire family.  We will all miss you until, our dying days.  Each of us carries you in our hearts, everyday.  Please watch down on all of us, until we all can meet again.

Deryk, you and Jenny are my heros and I have a bagillion things I could say but mostly just thank you for looking out for little me and for me being the lady i am today! We will always be a team forever and ever but just know I may be in Maine and Jen may be in NC and you are with us in every way. Can't say I have been the best over the past few years but doing as much as I can to keep all well, and you know we happened to have born into the most wonderfull family EVER! Who am I kiddin you know! Thank you for looking out for me and helping me find my way.

Deryk Jenny Amie 3 Amigos or how ever you spell cousins in spanish...............

GUINESS....all of us...I love you! Thank you 

Well, Deryk marked my life in ways that no one else could ever have! I don't get to be all sad on his birthday, because 2 yrs after he was gone, I had a baby girl on that day. Now, as I light the candles on her cake tomorrow he will be thought of and missed once again. I have told her about him, showed her pictures and laughed about the things that we had done and shared. The appropriate ones anyways...lol. We definately raised some hell, and in jr high raised the canton to dixfield/dixfield to canton phone bills! I will always remember prom, Deryk's senior year, when he went with Rebecca, Brett and I. He laughed so hard at Rebecca who had never seen a moose before that day, we had to pull over on rt 4 and watch the damn thing till it ventured back in the woods, like 20 minutes later, all dolled up, trying to get to his grandparents house in Auburn before dinner. After prom we all stayed at my parents house and stayed up all night talking about our lives, our pasts, our futures, hopes and dreams. Amazing how life turns out, or just doesn't.